2009 -- an early reflection.

As the years pass, December seems to be a month of reflection for me. Evaluating where I was last year, where I want to be next year.


The more healing work I do, the more aware I become of how much more needs to be done.

A friend once asked me, "How do you know when you have finished doing your healing work?"


That is not a question I had an answer for then or now.


I suppose if you are asking that question, it is apparent that you are not finished.


My dear friend and mentor would say "as long are you are still breathing you have healing work to do."


When I first heard this it was quite the pill to swallow. As I continue down my path, I come to understand this concept more and more.


Shamanism is not a healing modality, it is a way of life.


So I'm setting my New Years goal early this year.


No matter how hectic my life may get, I will make time to meditate, to heal, and to enjoy life. I will bring balance into my life and as wounds reveal themselves I will take the time to heal them.


There is not enough time to say 'I don't have time to deal with this.'


As I move forward, I receive confirmation that the universe provides the things I ask for. It is truly a blessing and wonderful gift. I am most grateful.


Recently it has become quite apparent in order to accept these gifts that I long for I must be able to heal beyond my past in order to graciously receive these gifts.


2009's resolution was a building block on 2008's.


2008 - Figure out what I need.


2009 - Accomplish the goals I sought after.


Again, resolution accomplished. Here I sit in Calgary, going to school building on my photography skills with the support of those I love emanating through everything I do.

I am proud. 2009 has been quite the year.

School is going great. Living in the Wild West, as bitterly cold as it sometimes gets, is a refreshing and sometimes surreal experience.

THANK YOU from my entirety to everyone who has helped me, who has learned with me, who has taught me, who has laughed with me, who has morned with me. I love you and cherish you all.


2010 is all about Becoming.

429

Doors are opening for you. Walk through them.

Own it.

where is home?

You are exactly where you need to be.

Don't over analyze.

Breathe it in.

now.

Calgary recycling behind in the times

New residents of Calgary may be surprised to find out that the first curb side recycling program was introduced in April 2009, servicing only 300,000 single unit homes in the city.

There is also an eight dollar charge for residents who receive the service, with no opt out to the program. The monthly Blue Cart charge appears on the household’s City of Calgary (ENMAX) utility bill.

Blair Riddle, a communications supervisor for the City of Calgary's waste and recycling services says the eight dollar charge found on residents ENMAX bill is “so that the program is able to sustain itself.”

“It’s completely supported by the monthly charge to the households that receive the service, says Riddle. “Also the cost is offset somewhat by revenues of recyclables themselves.”
The program excludes those living in properties with more than four units.

“The council essentially directed us to serve the single family sector, [leaving] the multi-family population open to the private sector to approach them first, if by 2020 there are no significant inroads then it would be opened up to expansion.”

Comparing the program to other cities in the country leaves a lot of room for improvement.

The city of Hamilton, for example, has no deposit on recyclables, and has offered no fee services to single family as well as multi-family complexes since the 90’s.

Toronto, with an estimated population of 2.6 million is one of North America’s leading cities for recycling and waste management. In 2008 the city diverted a total of 388,188 metric tonnes of residential waste from landfills through various recycling programs.

The City of Toronto collection bylaw contains an ‘all-or-nothing’ policy, whereby a building must participate fully in all programs, including recycling, in order to have its garbage collected by the City.

In Ontario under regulation 103/94 it states that owners of multi-unit residential buildings with six or more units must have recycling programs in place.

Peter Aitchison is resident of a seven unit apartment building in Calgary, who grew up in the township of Mono, Ontario, population 7,100. He says for as long as he can remember there has been recycling in Mono.

“When I moved to Calgary five years ago, I could not believe they didn’t recycle,” says Aitchison.
Before moving to Calgary, Aitchison lived in Toronto with five other people in one house, and he recounts only ever having one bag of garbage per week because of the city’s expansive recycling program. But that is not the case for Aitchison any longer.

“Literally my dining room is a landfill of cans and milk crates,” says Aitchison. “My roommate hates the fact that there are bottles everywhere, it’s disgusting; it makes me want to throw them in the garbage.”

“If [Calgary] would just say ‘let’s just adopt another similar cities recycling program’ it would be great.”

For you I bleed myself dry.

When we find out that a significant other has been unfaithful we are faced with some serious decisions. There is some time that must to be taken to reflect. This is a time that we must be gentle with ourselves.

A trust has been broken. A bond that we feel we have formed with another, torn apart in a single instant, and for what? Twenty minutes of pleasure, of which most likely, wasn't even all that enjoyable and most definitely not intense. There is no connection in some random fuck. The worst part is that most often than not it's done out of spite. Had the intent just been to to have a 'release' there are other options, of which for most involve the right hand, a bottle of Vaseline proceeded by rolling over and going to sleep with the possibility of spooning with one of your pillows.

So now I wonder, have we forgotten what respect is? What love is? What a connection is?

A connection, to know, to feel, the presence of another, no matter how near or far. That feeling when you wake up in the morning and you think about a person only moments later to receive a phone call or a text message from that very individual. These are connections that we experience in all types of relationships in our lives.

And, only when we are truly open, do we begin to experience this in our everyday life. It's no longer just random synchronicities. We begin to feel physically what the other person is experiencing, we feel the shifts when things change, for the better and for the worst. We get a sense when the other is in need and because of this connection, this love that you share with one another, you are there to provide for each other.

There are those people in life that do get it, they understand what it is all about. They long for that connection with another, to finally be able to open their heart, to dive into the ever embracing pool of love. But for some it is just not possible, because there are no certainties when it comes to love. Love just is. Love is pure. The only thing that taints love is a wounded perspective.

For love to truly exist we must allow one another to exist as an individual, to stand in their power, in their being. We must learn to embrace the others right to life, to encourage one another to experience all that life has to offer. There also needs to be a balance of respect. Respect of ones feelings, of ones boundaries. Committing oneself to another does not mean you have to give up all the things you enjoy or want to accomplish in life. It means being accountable for your actions, taking into consideration how the other person is going to be affected by your decision. Communicating with one another and learning to compromise. Being HONEST, not only with your partner but also with yourSelf.

Have we begun to live out a limiting belief, which by committing oneself full heartily to another, we believe we must compromise our personal goals and our boundaries? Is it through these fears we ultimately manifest something much worst and are left unable to recognize ourselves? Or is it that we have just become so self absorbed and distracted by frivolous things that we just don't give a shit?!

With every breath, do you take in the now?

Longing to lay my head on your pillow.

To lie under the nights starry sky, with you at my side.

To retire our masks and allow vulnerability to engulf us.

A fishing hook.

Is all that is left our our relationship.

I cut the cord long ago, you're unable to reel me in anymore.

All the remains is your rusted hook anchored in my heart.

An infectious wound, in need of healing. In need of Love.

You are everything I don't want.

But you are still the one I call out to.

The yearning of memories past.

Fear.

Fear keeps us in a strangle hold.

Suffocating.

Fighting for air.

Scratching at the surface. Begging to break free.

Many people live their lives in fear.

I ask is this a life? Are you living at all if you are crippled by fear?

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.

I watch so many people struggle with their so called 'life'. Waking up in a dream day in and day out. Asking themselves why me? Playing into victim mode.

Afraid to make any choices. Afraid to make a change. Thus, continuing on the same miserable path, having blind faith and hope that one day they'll wake up in the life they so desperately long for.

And why? Because of uncertainties. Because of judgement. Judgement from themselves and judgement of those around them. I often wonder if it is the healed outcome that we truly fear, do we fear the success that comes from making the change?

Is it that we all just believe that one day we are going to be able to cash in on our suffering? On our hardships? That the great divine put us on this earth to suffer?

Why is it that when are getting to know new people, we bust out bag of wounds and begin to compare stories? Putting value our emotional war wounds. Do we really define ourselves by emotional scars? Believing that one another cares about the others story.

I am tired of hearing people complain about their situations. I am tired of hearing myself complain about my own situation.

Put up with it and shut up, or CHANGE it.

The only way to overcome this plague of Fear is to face it.

IFS

The Fragile one,
crippled in the closet
fetal position
afraid
alone
eyes filled with tears

ABANDONED

broken promises led to a lack of faith
an absence of trust in the Self.

I embraced her
as her tears soaked our face
she knew why I had come

her thoughts echoing off the white sterile walls

why should this time be any different?
i've heard your empty words before...
LOOK AT ME
you have forgotten me
locked me up
threw away the key
and posted Guard outside the door

-

The Guard,
standing at attention
should anyone get too close.
Silent
Stiff
Somber

ordered here to keep the peace
instead all that was created was Resistance

I asked the guard to step down
to understand the need for the fragile one to be let out of her cell

In return, the Guard was asked,
Are you ready?

The better question is, am I done suffering?

-

The Saboteur,
Feet up
Laughing as he witnesses what is taking place
Sly
Lazy
Destructive

preoccupied with extinguishing the flames
the cause of the fire is thought to be lost

All he does is laugh,

I need some sex.
Wanna smoke a bowl?
I need a cigarette.
Shot of liquid courage?
Just one more...

just one...
one
more
distraction



This is a very effective way for one to begin healing, or even for one to target specific 'parts' of themselves that may be hindering them or even creating duality within themselves.

Personally, this has provided me with an awareness into where I need to direct more healing in regards to my own resistance towards healing. I have facilitated many close friends through Shamanic healing sessions that struggle with their resistance towards healing. Together we have discussed at lengths what the cause may be. What we are getting out of not healing. And what need is being fed by not healing.
My first session with IFS has opened my eyes to how deep my seed is planted and what agreements were made that set certain beliefs systems into motion. The session very much reminded me of an Inner Body Journey. Empowering the Self. Enabling a Self-Led healing process.

an excerpt of I AM a Child of the Universe

I AM a Child of the Universe
My life I co-create
with other me-s who walk this path
to find a Heaven-gate.
I AM the Path of Peace.

All beings are my teachers, nature is my school.
The moon is my reflection,
the heavens are my home;
the suns and galaxies, my true expression;
I AM whispered in atoms and particles.
In stars I AM the Light.

I AM a Child of the Universe.
The word of Truth I speak.
I find my home within my heart
I AM the Word of Peace.

In Truth I touch the heart strings of All That Is.
My spirit goes where my body cannot.
My heart knows what my brain cannot behold
and I find the Universe written in my heart.
All is who I AM.

I AM a Child of the Universe.
I dance and sing and play.
Asleep I learn of who I AM
and laugh throughout the day.
I AM the Song of Peace
© allen aslan heart